Why did you become a member of Moms Stop The Harm?
When I realized that my younger son Jeff was using drugs/fentanyl, I started looking online for some answers on how to help him. He had already been through treatment for a severe alcohol addiction. I came across MSTH and was reading some information they had. I was not sure if I liked what they were saying. I did not understand why they would want to give more drugs to those in the throes of addiction. But the one thing that helped me the most was that tough love was not the answer, that I did not have to feel like I was enabling my son by loving him, by standing by him in his time of need, doing whatever it took to keep him alive. That included buying him tested drugs once he had agreed to go to treatment again. After Jeff died, I turned to MSTH for support and joined. The Healing Hearts Facebook page was like a group support just by seeing what others had posted about their experiences with their loved ones. What do you want people to know about Moms Stop the Harm?
MSTH was started by three Mothers whose sons died due to addiction. It was this basic truth that helped me realize that there is power in a Mom who has gone through the most devastating, heart shattering time and lived to tell her story, their story. All across Canada, anyone who has lost their loved one to Substance Use Harms, there is probably a Healing Hearts group nearby. There are also Holding Hope groups for those family members of someone in active use of substances. There are Facebook support groups as well as online support, if you cannot get to an in person support group. Connection, finding others who actually know how it feels when your child or other loved dies due to substance use harms is so important. The stigma alone is enough to keep people from reaching out. Without MSTH, without the connection of facilitating a Healing Hearts group, I do not think that I would be this far along in my healing journey. The grief of losing my son will never leave, but having the support and sharing with others is immeasurable. What does being an advocate mean to you?
For the first year after my son’s death, I was pretty numb. But I did reach out to a couple of other local “moms” who had recently lost their kids to substance use harms. I knew that they were feeling very alone, possibly stigmatized. Jeff died on Oct 22, 2021. Six months later, his close friend relapsed and died. His Mom and I went to our first IOAD in Victoria that Aug 31st. We met Leslie McBain and I was inspired. In April, we held our first rally in our town for the anniversary of the BC Declaration of the Public Health Emergency due to the Opioid Crisis. It felt good to be able to speak out publicly and share the stories of our children. Since then, I have become an outspoken advocate, as well as trying to educate the public on safer supply, harm reduction and the toxic drug crisis. I have spoken in public many times now, shared my story at events and the media. All of this I do in the name of Jeffrey.
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